Left home by 5:45am.
Through security by 8:15am.
Einstein Bagels spotted by 8:16am.
This is where it gets interesting. I decide to get a blueberry bagel toasted with strawberry “shmear” aka cream cheese aka delicious pink goo. I sit down by the gate where my flight will leave for Philadelphia. SPOTTED: first doppelganger of the day. This guys is the spitting image of Ray from Everybody Loves Raymond. Spitting image! This is where it gets embarrassing. As I sit in awe of Ray Romano sitting across from me while I continue munching on my truly delicious shmeary bagel, I lose all control of my saliva glands. I’m no longer focusing on keeping my saliva in my mouth where it belongs because of how delicious the bagel is, and apparently I suck at multitasking. (Even if it is just spotting doppelgangers and eating.) A nice drip of spit slips from my mouth and falls in between my legs onto the chair which I have claimed at Gate C1. I look around to see if anyone has noticed and low and behold, the gentleman sitting 2 seats to my left was starring right at me as it happened. I’m so unbelievably, uncontrollably awkward. At this point, I don’t even care what he thinks, so I continue to embarrass myself even more by licking the yummy shmear off my hands as I try to text my friend Olivia. He tossed a few more looks my way while I lick my fingers while texting with my pinky and ring fingers.
After the saliva incident, I decide it’s time to get up and make a fool of myself by wandering around somewhere else in the airport with the spare time I have before my flight takes off. SPOTTED: second doppelganger. This guy is a gate agent for a flight headed to Dallas. He is the spitting image of my 8th grade Social Studies teacher. I think it may have actually been his twin brother. You’re lucky if you find one doppelganger in a lifetime and I have found two in one day! I make my way back to the gate hoping the man who saw me drool has relocated. He hasn’t, but I sit down anyways. SPOTTED: third doppelganger of the day and it’s not even 10am! This one was a little boy who looked just like Brick from The Middle.
Finally, everyone boards the plane. The flight attendant finishes up her safety talk as we pull out of the gate. The plane pulls about 20 ft out of the gate, maybe not even, and the plane dies. It just dies. All the lights shut off, the A/C turns off, just dead. Everyone stops what they are doing and gives the flight attendant their undivided attention, unlike when she was giving the safety talk. She gives a look back that says “Don’t look at me, I don’t know what’s going on either.” We start hearing a “ding, ding, ding nose door open” again and again and again coming from the front of the plane. The captain then announces that we are having electrical problems and we will have to be towed into the gate where we can get off the plane while technicians fix the problem. Everyone stands up as we ready ourselves to get off the plane. Before anyone has exited the plane, the pilot tells us that they “fixed the problem” and it was “a lot simpler than expected.” That’s like me driving a car, and it starts dinging because the hood of the car is open. I tell you we are having electrical problems and can’t drive anymore. I call AAA to close my hood and then tell you I fixed the problem. Yeah the problem is fixed but it makes me look pretty dumb and makes you concerned to drive with me. I can’t complain though because I did eventually land safe and sound in Philadelphia
Location: Baltimore, MD