The other day, I was sitting in my favorite place. The one where David and Andrea work. It sits on the Arno, and we call it “Caffè.” The sun illuminated the rough, uneven white-brick walls and the golden brown wood of the tables. Adam sat across from me. It was his birthday; he turned 32. David sat at a table behind me on his late lunch break. Andrea behind the counter continuing the daily grind of Caffè work.

David and Andrea are brothers, (“i fratelli”), and they look like twins (“i gemelli”), but Andrea is two years older than David. David is but 22, and I am 20. I could easily fall in love, but it surely isn’t meant to be. They brought out an omelet with a little heart reading, “With love! 32” on it, and their classic goofy smiles. (Earlier that day they gave Adam a two day old piece of cake with two candles that were shaped like 22, which wasn’t even the right age, and then another slice of cake after the omelet. So funny and sweet!) They are just cute for the fun of it, and they enjoy life. It’s refreshing.

Alexxus sat behind me and to my left at the barrel with her iced cappuccino and biography of Tiziano Ferro, her favorite Italian singer and songwriter. Alexxus is younger than I am, I learned this just yesterday. She is a deep thinker, and coming without knowing a single soul, brave indeed. The sun warmed my soul as did the presence of my friends.

The romance of a moment, irrepeatable.

I was wearing my favorite dress in my favorite caffè, where I always do my work while Adam does his, and we joked with David and Andrea that “we all work together.” My hair was neat in my ballerina bun as usual with the wispy tendrils framing my face, and my soft tan dress tied at the waste by my dark blue denim collared shirt–a bit warm on this sunny day but just perfect for me. I sat at the table with my laptop and phone in front of me, hard at work on my photography homework. Beside my computer was a copy of a letter. It was addressed to the editor of one of the english speaking newspapers in Florence where I hope to remain for the summer months. I had just submitted it online the evening prior.

In part, it read: “…before I arrived in Florence, I thought I wanted to see the whole world, but once I arrived here, everything changed. I fell in love with this charming city. As I enter my fourth and final month in my study abroad program, I can’t even fathom leaving…”

I held the paper in my hands with my shoulders back and the warm sunshine on my face. With one ear available for the sounds of the caffè and an earphone in the other, the soft music of Ben Rector’s Sailboat awoke me to the romance of this moment. Suddenly, I realized just how intricate it was, irrepeatable. This moment of longing, of loving, hoping, and desiring for this experience to last a little longer–a moment that defines my 20-year-old life in a way that I am now different, somehow transformed from who I was before.

Who knew a piece of my heart was in Florence?

Who knew I would find part of myself here of all places? I have grown a lot from this experience. Annie has taught me to be myself. Elizabeth says not to care what others think. Why need we be all the same? Santi Apostoli has given me a home and a mission. Gianna and Giovanna have made me smile with authentic zeal. Alessio teaches me to be free, to always try, and to never fear failure. And, my Florence family, and Cici, and Katie, and the staff of my school, and everyone! Florence especially, if I may personify the city. Everyone has taught me to love so deeply, so deeply that I am drunk off the sweetness of life–figuratively of course, but so deep that it almost feels literal.

The bliss, the riding of a wave that feels like a natural forever… But, in the back of my mind, and somewhere in my heart, I know I have to leave. I know the wave will eventually break against the shore. But, I just don’t know… how long will this loveliness last? And, I praise the Lord. I praise His holy name for giving it to me in the first place, and I hope desperately that my desires match His will. But, I also know that I need to trust Him. He is goodness and depth itself, while I am a little whisp… here and then gone in the blink of an eye in the whole history of human existence. My sight is so limited, tethered to here and now, latching onto the best thing I know in this world.

Fr. Mike Schmitz once said, “God knows us better than we know ourselves, and he loves us better than we love ourselves.” I love this. It reminds me that God has created me, His will is always and forever better than mine, and whatever He has planned for me is good. He has handcrafted this perfect bliss, one that speaks to my heart in ways nothing else can. And, whatever is to come is what is best. God is the bliss.

“The threshold which the world crosses in him
is the threshold of wonderment.” -Saint Pope John Paul II

“My soul doth magnify the Lord.” -Mother Mary

More sweet moments

Last night I went to Adam’s birthday party. It was an apperitivo at La Petite, near Piazza della Repubblica. Rena and Alexxus came too. There we had a drink and some Italian food and enjoyed conversation about nothing yet everything with Melinda. Melinda is a writer and expat here in Florence, a woman who fell in love with Florence just like I am beginning to drink up its sweetness, only three months deep. Little did I know I would come across a former writer from the very publication I was applying to. What a truly lovely surprise this was.

Long story long, I am loving it here, the friends I’ve had the pleasure to meet, and all life’s serendipity. More photos to come!

Ciaooo

Angela

xoxo