Home stays: Making it work

    Living with a host family, in my opinion, is the best way to learn just about everything while studying abroad. It is like starting life over from the beginning. I highly recommend it to those who are truly interested in and curious about the people and the culture of a place. Language learning can be done anywhere if you are in a home stay or dorm, but I think a home stay is much more intimate and you get people who have higher regard for you whereas friends can be too busy or what have you. 

    Knowing all this, however, does not take away from the fact that you are living with strangers who don’t even speak your language on all possible levels. It’s very easy to just shut yourself in your room, only come out for meals and stick to yes and no questions. It’s scary, you don’t know the family’s routine or temperament yet, you might be jet-lagged and/or think your language skills are not up to par. If you are like me, you’re going to feel like you made a mistake and bit off more than you can chew. Do not fear, citizen. I come with some advice that can help move things along until you become a member of the family. 

 
1. Don’t hide in your room.
My new family is actually pretty busy so I am in my room more than my previous family, but when they are around, I try to be in the main area which is the dining room. Even if I am just watching tv while they scurry about, at least I am in the open. I think this is the biggest point because they want to see you and get to know you just as much as you do them. It’s a two way street and that is easy to forget for us students. Sometimes I bring down my homework or something to keep busy. Which brings me to my next point. 
2. Make your interests known. 
If you brought a laptop, take it around with you to the main area. If you entertain yourself in plain sight, they will take the bait and approach you. If you’re like me and interested in Japanese pop culture and media (or whatever media of your target land), it will be a piece of cake to get the party going. 
 
3. When they ask about you, you can return the question.
This is too obvious for words, but when I am in shy-mode I shut down. I find myself answering questions as economically as possible and then going back to whatever I was doing. “And you?” is really easy, so take a deep breath and spit it out. 
4. SMILE
Even when things aren’t that funny or if you have nothing else to say, just smile. A smile puts everyone, including the user, at ease. When your words are not as powerful as you need them to be, your actions really pick up a lot of the slack whether you like it or not. Don’t let your host family misunderstand your emotions.
    Of course this isn’t all, but these are things I tend to struggle with. It all sounds really simple and obvious in black and white, but I know I can’t be the only person who has defied these. Being shy and ambitious at the same time can be a dangerous formula that cancels everything out, so I hope that these tips can help my fellow Shambitious people out there better adapt to their new lives. It’s been four days so far and I think we’re getting there. 


Location: kuwana-shi, mie-ken, Japan

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3 thoughts on “Home stays: Making it work”

  1. KELSEY E ROBB

    thanks for the suggestions! i’ve definitely been keeping to myself at my homestay, but i’m consciously trying to integrate myself into the family more! i watched tv with my host mom after lunch today which gave us a few more things to talk about 🙂

  2. KELSEY E ROBB

    thanks for the suggestions! i’ve definitely been keeping to myself at my homestay, but i’m consciously trying to integrate myself into the family more! i watched tv with my host mom after lunch today which gave us a few more things to talk about 🙂

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