Superficially, France the and United States don’t seem all that different. Both countries are strong economic and political forces in the Western world, with advanced technology, similar religious and ethnic backgrounds, and so on. The languages are rather disparate, but they share a wide range of words and cognates. 

But this idea is a faux ami (a false friend, or a word that looks the same in both languages but has a different meaning). Just because France is a Western European country and the majority of the population could pass for American does not mean that the vast cultural differences between them can be discounted.

La vie quotidienne, daily life, runs on a different schedule. Lunch is often a two hour affair, both for students and professionals. Many shops and businesses will close between noon and two in the afternoon (and many restaurants are only open in that window of time). Dinner is usually later, not before 7:30 or 8pm. The caf�s begin to get crowded around 6 or 7, when most people sit down for a drink or two. And almost every night of the week, the streets are alive. Paris is not officially “the city that never sleeps,” but it comes close.

There are also subtle behavioral norms that, while small, become apparent when they’re violated. For example, the French generally don’t smile or make eye contact with strangers. In fact, eye contact is somewhat of an invitation for someone to make (possibly unwanted) advances, as is smiling. Privacy is to be protected carefully, and small talk is almost nonexistent. Although I’m not a forward or extroverted person by any means, I still find it difficult to assume a stony mien and avoid looking anyone in the face. In the US, we associate smiling and eye contact with friendliness and politesse; we don’t want anyone to think we’re rude or antisocial. But that doesn’t matter so much, here. One of our program directors told us during orientation that we need to be “mean.” I still think that a small smile can be helpful in most situations, but we’ll see. Most of the girls in our program, myself included, have been harassed daily. We try to imitate the French women (who never seem to be the subject of creepy men or their comments) with the way we dress and conduct ourselves in public, but it hasn’t worked too well so far. This is also a product, in part, of their more open attitude towards sexuality and their perception of Americans. 

French society and culture has an intricate set of rules and codes. While I’m attempting to learn them so as to assimilate and blend in, it’s interesting to note how they differ from the behavioral norms in the US. They may be much closer to ours than, say, the social atmosphere of Senegal or Japan, but they still cannot be ignored (or else, quelle scandale!).

Location: Montparnasse, Paris, France