The first thing I noticed after arriving in New York City was the height of the buildings. Driving through the supposed capital of the world, it was hard not to feel impressed. Well developed, the streets are wide enough that traffic can flow through them at a reasonable pace.  The structures–including high rises, sidewalks and roads–aren’t falling apart. And yeah, the lights: the atmosphere was smothered in glowing name brands like Aeropostale, McDonald’s, Gap, just fill in the blank; it was more big business than I’d seen in months.

So I’m home, here in the cultural vacuum of Pennsylvania. Before leaving to study abroad, I’d thought that there was more to the picture, that I wasn’t getting the full story here in middle-class America. Now I’m positive that that’s the case.

I’ve seen parts of Argentina, Ecuador and Peru. This little bit of international experience has made me incredibly cynical. I’m somewhat closer to working through my affliction, the typical university student crisis of what to do with my life, but not very. The world is a heavy place with lots of absurd stuff going on. I wanted to acquire a global perspective while on the road, and well, I suppose got it: Life is a process of struggling to survive, people get by however they can. And I’m fortunate enough to be in a country like the United States, where there’s an incredible amount of opportunity. I know that’s a clich�, but it’s true.

At the same time, this place isn’t the center of the universe. I walked through the Lehigh Valley Mall to do Christmas shopping, and I was amazed at wide variety of products on display. There is so much freaking stuff here. But we generally only see the Batman action figure or JC Penney T-shirt in its final form; we know that the sweatshop workers in developing countries exist and we hear about rampant factory pollution in other parts of the world, yet actually seeing part of that reality upon which our dream of the United States exists is another matter.

A lot of people close their eyes or don’t even think about the places outside of this gigantic fish bowl we live in. I’ve never been that way. And after being back here only a week, having glimpsed what exists outside, I’m already ready to go back out and stare the problems and contradictions in the face.

It doesn’t matter whether I look or not. The world couldn’t care less. Even so, I like not only acknowledging that it’s out there with all of its deformations and imperfections, but also caring about it deeply. I can’t simply be complacent. At least, I haven’t become that jaded yet. And I hope I never do.

Location: East Stroudsburg, PA, United States