Wow. That title sounds intense. Why did I pick that title? Well because my parents read my blog, and I thought it would make them a little less concerned that I went out clubbing. I don’t think it will worked though because I also just admitted that I have indeed attended frat parties before. Sorry Mom and Dad.

Anyways. Last night after seeing Los33 (amazing movie about the 2010 mine collapse in Chile), we went out to dinner at a Mexican restaurant to celebrate the birthday of one of the girls in my program (Happy birthday, Serena!). After some delicious food, we headed to Club 57. There is a program for exchange students at La Católica (the university where I’m studying) called CAUC. CAUC organizes trips to see different parts of Chile, barbeques to socialize with Chilean students at the university, and parties at clubs in Santiago (like the one I attended last night).

As we left dinner and started walking, I’m not going to lie, I got a little nervous. We were going to a club in a big city. We had been warned to not bring anything important with us because it would most likely get stolen (but honestly, this is a risk just taking the subway or walking down a crowded street). The women in my program had also been warned that men at clubs are very persistent and will ask you to dance again and again and again and again… My first reaction to this was “Wow! They actually ask you to dance?” Men (and when I say men, I don’t mean all men) will sneak up behind you on the dance floor and start rubbing the fabric covering their genitalia against the fabric covering your buttocks. Super sexy. What really gets to me is that many men at frats (or clubs or bars or wherever you are out dancing) do not ask. They just have this weird sense of entitlement over a woman’s body and think that just because you are out dancing that you want to dance with them. Now it can be argued that men at frats are too scared to ask girls to dance at the risk of being rejected, so they try to ease into dancing with someone. But wouldn’t you rather be turned down with a “no” instead of risking possible sexual harassment charges?

We arrived at Cub 57 and there weren’t that many people there. This was to be expected because clubs and bars don’t usually fill up until 2AM and people leave around 5AM, as opposed to American party hours which seem to fall between 10PM and 2AM. As more and more people arrived and staff moved the tables and chairs out of the way, we started dancing and having a grand old time. Much to my surprise, nobody was asking us to dance. The dance floor seemed to be relatively safe. As long as we all stuck to ourselves and danced like complete idiots, we were fine. But then I had to go to the bathroom (with a friends of course – buddy system!). As soon as I left the dance floor and started searching for a place to “break the seal” (as the kids say these days), it started. Some asked in English, others asked in Spanish. But they all grabbed your arm. Right above the elbow, at the bicep. That was something that nobody had warned me about. This arm grab made it a little more forced and not as polite as I had expected. I was kind of hoping for a nice hand offer. I supposed this physical contact when asking a woman to dance is better than a man placing his junk near your junk, like in the US. Regardless, it was unwanted physical contact, so I didn’t feel the slightest bit bad turning them down. As everyone became more and more inebriated, the dance floor was no longer a safe haven no matter how crazy you danced. Believe me. I tried.

Man: Would you like to dance?

Me: No, thanks.

Man: Would you like to dance?

Me: No.

Man: Dance?

Me: No.

But as the night went on, our patience ran thin. Rejections became less and less polite.

Man: Would you like to dance?

My friend: No.

Man: What’s your name?

Friend: No.

Man: What’s your name?

Friend: …

I think I can conclude that I prefer the Chilean way. Asking first is always better. But both cultures are not completely up to par in terms of respecting women. Now you may say, “If you don’t want to dance with guys, just don’t go out.” I say to you, “why do I have to stay in and not the guys?” In conclusion:

Rule 1.) No touchy unless you asky.

Rule 2.) No means no.