I have to wonder if going to a distinctly “foreign” country is easier than one which, on the surface, appears so similar. When going to the former, it would seem that you would go into knowing that there are going to be precious little in common with your American lifestyle–say, Thailand, for instance. I would think that someone would have a pretty good idea that Thailand is going to be very, very different. Thus, some mental preparation might occur to help adjust one’s anticipated perspective to a somewhat realistic image of what living there will be like–or at least not be like. Conversely, I feel that going to a country that appears quiet similar to your own leads naturally to a number of pitfalls. (Yes, I know what happens when one ‘ass-ume”s.)
One, you might assume that people in your temporary country would act the same as people in your country (i.e., America). This would inevitably lead you to smiling when making eye contact with people as you walk down the street. Wrong. We do not smile at people we do not know as we walk down the street in the Netherlands. I doubt they’d smile at someone they did know. If you did happen to see someone smiling, they are likely an oblivious American or a German exchange student. And we do not, absolutely do not move out of the way for old people, women, children, amputees, grannies in wheelchairs, a person carrying a large heavy box–not for anyone at all.
Two, you might assume that pedestrians have the right of way…after all a person walking across the street (after looking both ways) would be right to assume that it is safe to cross. Notwithstanding blind idiocy, it would seem logical to cross when there is no traffic. Wrong. Whilst a car will stop dead in its tracks at 50 km/h, a cyclist would run over his own mother if it meant the only other option was actually stopping. Hierarchy of the Streets: Cyclists, Pedestrians, Cars. Busses can be anywhere in-between, depending of course on whether the driver is Dutch or another nationality. I’ve left one out, but that will be explained in number three.
Three, you might assume that when you are cycling/biking that you are now at the top of the hierarchy. Wrong. Above you are motorcyclists, those grubby little, pollution spouting, cycle path hogging, almost knock you over when passing even when there’s more than five feet between you and the width he has to pass bastards. I can understand that when the cycling path parallels a main road or byway that some car exhaust is to be expected. I do not, however, appreciate inhaling mushroom clouds of motorcycle exhaust, which I highly suspect is unchecked and unregulated, as they sideswipe me every ten seconds. Emissions control, anyone?
Four, you might assume that when people talk of stereotypes that they are justing being mean-spirited. Wrong. I guess the PC term for it is “direct”, but really I would suggest the words “rude”, “irresponsible”, “self-centered”, “unconscientious”, & “lacking in basic manners”. The Dutch seemly pride themselves on this stereotype, but honestly it comes across as coarse, crass and uncaring. I used to get annoyed with the “how are you” greetings in the States that were merely per functionary greetings and not honest inquiries, but now I miss having someone ask me how I am, however frivolously. You just will not hear that here.
Five…ok, that’s enough. Really I could go on, but I think you get the picture. I try not to play into all the stereotype hype about other cultures or nationalities, but sometimes…Call it stereotypic shock, I guess. Although, I must add that the Germans I’ve meant have been genuinely nice and happier than the Dutch. If they’re a bit anal about timeliness, what’s the problem–they’re nice. And frankly, that’s all I care about right now.
Segue into yesterday’s little cycling jaunt across the border to Belgium. In a rare fit of energy, I decided that I would take advantage of the (equally rare) beautiful weather and head out on my bike. Now, my bike is not the best. It regularly gets stuck in 2nd gear, it squeaks with each rotation of the front wheel, and clacks with every turn of the pedal. But it’s all I have, so off we went with only a brief mental map courtesy of google, a bottle of water and my (finally) charged camera.
I started down Tongersweg, which leads roughly west by north west out of Maastricht. Followed it until I saw this little road to the right, and without thinking winged down the hill. It was a lovely little birch lined road, slight rutted, but overlooking some peaceful fields and a nature reserve.
It took me a while to realize that the small side roads leading down at 90 degree slopes were paths to the canal (of course, at this point I thought it was a river). But what the heck, I was in a wonderful new happy mood, so, down I went.
It was literally the most peaceful, zen-like feeling I have had in years. I wanted to take more pictures, but I couldn’t peel myself away from the simple pleasure of pedaling down this canal.
Ducks!
So much sun! (This is a rarefied deity here!) I tried to calculate my little jaunt using this belgian cycling site. All told, I think it was about 45 or 50 miles. Admittedly, I am not a biker, but this was such a soul-clearing ride that I felt I could have pedaled straight through to France. As it were, I went up, then back down and around and then up via the Maas River back into Maastricht. If you want a peaceful ride with minimal motorcycle exhaust and no cars, have a go. It is a very restorative place. By the end I literally could not stop smiling. Such a change from the past weeks in Maastricht (which regularly conspires to make me feel alternately foolish, idiotic and stupid, all of which equals a grumpy me).
In conclusion, if you ever find yourself in Maastricht and need to escape the Dutch for a bit, head across the border to the canals. Belgium–where people smile at you just for walking/riding by, where people move out of the way, and where even the sun seems just a little bit friendlier.
Location: Maastricht, the Netherlands, Belgium
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Being in Australia, I can tell you it is awkward to understand the slight cultural differences at first but they will eventually fade. For example the inflections of voices here made me believe I was constantly being asked questions during my first few weeks abroad. With that said, I hope your time abroad improves and the cultural differences you’ve experienced fade into what you begin to consider every day life.
There have been several studies that suggest culture-shock can be worse for people traveling to countries that are supposedly “less foreign” – i.e. the UK and other Western European countries – for exactly the reason you discuss here: that a person’s expectations often play a major role in how they transition/experience another country. Many people travel to Western Europe and expect it to be fairly similar to the US, and so they are not prepared to deal with the differences when they manifest. While I understand your frustrations, it is important to remember that manners and social interactions are locally defined and should not be judged through American eyes. (There are some exceptions, and sometimes rude is rude no matter how you look at it.) It may help for you to manage your expectations and understand that the Dutch will act like the Dutch! I hope your interactions improve as your time there continues. Good luck 🙂